| Y is everything for me SO UP AND DOWN!?? I just wish I could be happy and be haapy forever.. I know that if I was happy all the time then I owuld never be truley happy.. ya blah blah... but UGH I just don't feel like doing anything anymore... everything I do to try to make myself happy ends up turning out to be a total desaster... obviously I'm doing something wrong... I don't know what to do anymore I don't know how to start over... I don't know where to begin b/c everytime I try to begin I mess up.. I do something TOTAL stupid that I regret and like hate myself for... I just wanna love my senior year and have fun with friends... and get threw it... I feel like its never gonna end... its an on going hell... Senior year is suppose to be the best year of ur life... well gee if this is the best... wow... that sucks.. I've had way better years. All I can say is please pray again... and don't stop... thats alot to ask for but I really need it.. I'm so lost right now... I'm trying to find my way home.. (not literally) but I just don't know where I'm at right now and I keep making stupid mistakes that are changing my life... and I don't want that anymore.. My friends are amazing and so supportavie.. and I thank u guys SO much for being an amazing part in my life.. I love u guys. |
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| PRAISE THE LORD life is coming together! lol :) thanks for ur prayers!!! |
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| PLEASE JUST LET ME GET THREW THIS WEEK!!!! If u find time pray that I can... |
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| So really mixed emotions right now.. somewhere in between hurt/disappointed... I feel like such a let down to people... everyone. Man do I not know what I do... but I do so many wrongs... I guess whos ever reading this.. I'm super sorry if I've wronged u and didn't even know.. cause I didn't even know I've been hurting others. Please pray for me right now to know what I do. I need a BIG change in my life to happen... |
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| So writting in here again.. I really need to write.. I'm so upset right now with so many different things... I don't understand people... its like u do one thing to them, u get over it say ur sorry, u think life is all and well and I swear they try to back stab u.. like there not over what happened.. Seriously idk y people can't talk to people these days.. we have so many different things now like texting and AIM and email... no one talks anymore.. what happened to good old talking... people are to afraid of talking to peoples faces b/c there afraid of there reaction or what they might say that is wrong... The only reason I'm writting in here is b/c I am one of those people.. I can talk to peoples faces but I know that if I do I will be talked about badly for what I said to the person b/c they think I'm being ridicoulous.. I'm SO.............. Sick of this year already... I'm SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO sick of the stupid drama that has already come from this year.. I mean COME ON the year just Started!!! I love watching drama but I HATE it myself... its so stupid. And I just want summer to come... I want to be away from school and everyone... I feel like I'm being icolated by everyone... I'm not depressed or anything but to be honnest I feel super alone. Y can't people be real with one another? Y is everyone so FAKE and HAPPY all the time.. ya I try to be but man it sucks I don't wanna be like that anymore.. my true colors are gonna show.. ya I'll be happy when I'm happy but I'm not just gonna go around and acting all FAKE just b/c everyone else is doing it.. I'm not gonna treat people like sweet little angels when they hurt me... I'm gonna show them that I am not very happy and that they hurt me... I want to just fall asleep and wake up with this year is over... |
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